THIS IS HARD :-(

Weddings are harder to organize than in my mum and dad's (left) day. When I said yes to Thomas the other day, I had forgotten a few things...

• Firstly, there's the fact that (don't tell anyone - this is between you and me ;-) ) I actually hate weddings - other peoples', mine, you name it!

• Then, as if I haven't learned my lesson from the first time round, we have to try to work out a date that suits potential foreign guests as well as the home-grown variety.

• Then, there's the fact that it is my 2nd (or maybe technically 3rd - (we had a 2nd wedding in France last time round)) wedding but his first so my expectations may be different from his!

• Next, given our (or my) advanced years, I know so many people, and Thomas does too. If we have everyone we'd like there then we need to spend a year's salary on the dinner.

• Also, given it happened last time round, there's that unbalanced wedding problem when one of you is foreign (no one came from France last time, hence the second expensive do). With the best will in the world, friends who agree a wedding abroad may be fun, often drop off the radar once they start calculating the hassle value of flights, accommodation, work holidays, kids' school holidays etc. So we have to gauge whether or not a wedding with our friends might not turn into a party for mine, for the most part. Maybe a safer and fairer option in that case is a tiny, strict family-only do...

• Even that isn't without problems of course, given modern times we have the problem of finding a date where, not only I have my kids available to attend, given André sees them 8 nights a month, but where those nights overlap with when Thomas's sister and her husband have their kids, given they are in a similar, post-divorce second marriage.

• Finally, there are small problems, such as getting Marcel to a hairdresser and Charlotte to realize I really don't want Anna in a bridesmaid's dress, the boys in kilts and Lots in a pair of jeans and a skull T-shirt (this itself could turn out to be the trickiest problem of all!)

Of course I have suggested to Thomas that running away to the Caribbean or up the Empire State building might be easier than finding a suitable compromise to all the above but he's not sure it would be the best option for a first wedding, though he may come round to my way of thinking! I always fancied a barefoot wedding on a beach but if we opt for Prestwick instead of Hawaii, we could be dodging some rain clouds - I remember being soaked through to my underwear in the rain last time I went to a Scottish wedding and that was last July! Maybe if it all gets too stressful, I could hire a stunt-double for the day!